Seriously

Okay quick question.
{and maybe I'm having another vent!}

... What do you think is worse - bitching to one persons - or bitching to a whole group?


While I don't think 'bitching' at all is that nice, I think there is points where people just have to let off steam and unload so they don't explode. Yes people will do things that annoy you, yes people will do things that drive you right up the wall. Yes a lot of people are just so freaking stupid its not funny..... {see now I'm being a bitch}

I like to think that on the whole I am a tolerant person. That while things people do and say may drive me up the wall and make me want to shake them till they wake up to themselves... I try to actually realise that the issues I'm having aren't really their fault - that for the most part they are not responsible for my reactions to them ... that how I react to them is MY responsiblity and my issue to deal with.

For example, I don't really like 'crude' humour. Anything overly vulger and I'm just turned off. Some might see it as me being 'prudish' but... that's okay I am in a bit of a way, although I like to think it's more out of respect then being a prude. But I'm smart enough to realise that is MY ISSUE - I woudln't go and ask people to stop makeing jokes along those lines. Because that is who they are and it's not their fault I don't like it.... [of course this is to a degree - if you call me stupid, idoit or anything of the such as a joke - I will not take kindly to it -but then I will tell you why and ask polietly for you to try not to use *that* kind of joke at me]

I am smart enough to know that I piss people off - hell I've done enough of that in my life time already. I'm smart enough NOW to realise that some of that wasn't my fault - that they where other peoples issues. I always try to take responsiblity for my actions, my thoughts and my feelings....

It's like the whole thing with people going I don't like bad spelling or bad grammar. I think that's a shame in some way - because I know - from personal experience that sometimes that is something that poeple don't have total controll over. I can't help that I'm dislexic. I try my hardest to 'minimise' it for everyone - try my best to use spell check - but then other times I just like to except who I am and show it. This is me warts and all with out the dictonary! - because I think quite frankly if I let the 'spelling bee's' issues of not likeing to see mispelt words and bad grammer effect me then I'm giving into someone else ISSUE - it's not my fault they don't like it and their is nothing I can really do to change that, as I will always slip up over it. it's who I am and I can't be ashamed of that {did it for to long - never again - and it's funny that when I stopped being ashamed of it - I improved! ROFL}

Sorry something just sparked me today. I hate it when people inforce their 'dislikes' on another - make someone else change their ways to suit them with out any thought that maybe just maybe there is a valued reason for what someone is doing - maybe just maybe that they are the ones with the issue not the other person! - So you don't like spelling mistakes - don't read my posts then. - So you don't like over use of exclimation marks or people who pepper their posts with SMS talk........ Don't you realise - that is YOUR ISSUE - not theirs?!

Now I'm not saying that we should never take others dislikes into account - I certainly would never say that. Because I think you have to respect other people's feelings and what they like and dislike. If someone came to me and said "Peta, do you mind not playing your music so loud late at night as I'm trying to sleep and don't like being kept awake by your stereo"... then I'm happy to do as they have asked - becasue quite frankly I can controll that action! Sure it might be their issue that they can't sleep with the sound of music thumping through their walls... but there are ways in which I can minimsie these effect on them - ways in which I can take responsiblity for what I am doing and the effects it is having on another person. But if they came to me and said 'Peta i hate the way you laugh can you not do it" I'd have to look them in the eye and go "I'm sorry you feel that way, but it's not something I can change".... but then I can still maybe try and work out ways around the issue at hand - but in the end it's up the the person who doesn't like my laugh to take the responsiblity of how they wan't to deal with it... then can accept me for who I am and the way I laugh - knowing full well it will dirve them crazy - or they can just stop being around me and sharing in my life... that is their issue their chocie their responsiblity to deal with. Right?!

Back to what i was saying to start with.

Personaly I think venting off frustration to one person is a healthy thing to do as long as you aren't CONSISTANTLY bitching about the same things over and over again. As long as that once you have 'dealt' with the way you are feeling that you move on and DEAL with what you can and except what you are responsible for and the things that you have no control over.

I will never agree with bitching in big groups. I hate the pact mantality of it. I've been there - been through it. Watched it eat through me and turn me into a person I never liked. This is my issue. I'll point out what i think and feel on the matter but then I will move on. Change the subject and maybe bitch about it in private to one person - have my vent and move on.

Becasue I never ever ever ever want to be a caught up in the whole 'highschoolness' of bitching again. I'm not a pack animal. I can't think and feel on my own. Make up my own mind and don't need to pull others down with my 'friends' to feel good about myself.

And yes - I realise the irony of the fact that some could say I have just bicthed in a group with you all. But then i'm not interacting with you..... I'm not going to go post this on a mesage board and interact with a thousand other people and try and get others to agree with me and to also go out and 'bitch' about x y or z.

I respect you all enough to have your own throughts and feelings on the matter. I don't expect anyone to actually agree with, after all this is my own personal issue and if you agree with me or not does not change the way I feel.

Make sense?! Maybe not. But bah. I'm out of here.