I'm so out of it

you know once I would have said that I knew what was going on around the digi world pretty well - that my finger was on the pulse of it.... I knew what was hot - I knew what designer was up and coming - new what some of the big secrets in the works where and felt like I was in amoungst it all a part of the big digi universe....

Not anymore. I feel as if I'm back to siting on the edges of it all again just looking in, but this time a little 'older' and a little bit 'wiser' ....

My digi life has certainly changed with my leaving behind so many teams - kind of sad and I miss all my old team mates and designers.

But you know what I'm glad I did. There is no way I could cope now with them all. I'm finding life hard enough to cope with as it is.

Feeling very overwhelmed at the moment so many balls up in the air and waiting for them to fall and hit me on the head.

Things at tafe are starting to get serious. I have two weeks of holidays coming up but I don't think I'll get much of a holiday I want to get my studying life sorted. Have fallen back into old ways and quite frankly I don't fancey having more panic attacks because I have suddenly realised just how much I have let things go. I need to find a way out of this habbit and even if I have to give up everything to just study study study then ... I'm going to have to do that!

But that's a last resort. I want to enjoy my life and have it balanced out well enough so that I don't have to constantly have a freaking MELTDOWN rofl.

so with that - it's 1:30 time for bed!!!!