crap crap crap
Argh life isn't it a funny game?
Lets just say I'm in a contemplative mood today.
So many things are going on in this little head of mine today there are so many sides of me.
There is the little girl who wants to bounce around the room and yell from the roof tops - I'll call her the love sick FOOL - gosh she's funny. I love her but I want to smack her over the head and tell her to pipe down [she's currently grinning like a fool too but hehe - she's so cute]
Then there is another side that is feeling rather peaceful and more comfortable with life, she's looking down the road going "hey time for me to move forward" - she's the one slapping the love sick fool over the head and telling her to behave herself - this one's got her head screwed on the right way [for a change].
Another piece of me is the "hobbyist' side of me. She's filled with so much turmoil at the moment. There are so many things she wants to do, so many dreams she wants to achieve, but there is yet again - ANOTHER piece of me that is looking around and not liking what she sees, and is afraid of what she might turn into..... She so much now days not to like about something that use to make her heart sing.
It's all about the heart really
and mine is a fickle little thing.
On the digi score, I've always been one to believe that nothing is competitive till we make it competitive and view it this way. That someone only turns into a competition when we actively want to go and be better than someone else...... Well I am seeing this so much in the digi world at the moment, so many people who want to be better then the next person, want more sales, more comments on their layouts - and are starting to use any tactic they can use - and that leaves everyone else with really the only option but come up with other tactic’s - grander ideas.
Maybe I'm just jealous? Although I don't think that is it. Maybe I'm just tired and cranky? Maybe I'm just paranoid. But I don't like this.
I feel more then ever - dare I say this - that digital scrap booking is becoming more and more like paper scrapping. Maybe not in looks but the communities - every thing I hated about the paper 'world' I'm seeing in the 'digi world' - the bitch'n the 'clicks' the who's got the best stuff and you’re not anybody unless you're using the newest stuff - and I'll hang around with x y and z because they are 'big' names and if I hang with them then I'm cool by association.
Okay I'm talking very general here..... And maybe I'm just seeing it because I'm a negative mean spirited bitter old prune.....
There is a little thought in my head that I shouldn't post this - because *gasp* people will hate me and stop commenting on my work and I'll be persona no grata in digi circles - that any aspirations that I did have will be kicked well and truly out the door cause I don't play nicely with the local kids...
But I'm looking at my life and thinking 'Is this really important" - does it really matter if my layouts only get two comments - yes in a how awful for my dt bosses who have let me on their teams and I'd be letting them down if I didn't achieve more exposure for their work..... But then I also wonder how much of kit buying is really based on seeing a nice layout in the gallery vers. "the next best thing you must have" ...
I'm not silly enough to think there is any answers to any of this - even how to get that silly girl from stop grinning like a fool - but ARGH this is what is going through my mind right now....
Just how much more of myself do I want to invest in this hobby?
So with that in mind - Did you know that the latest must have is Tracy Ann's Street Wear collection?? It is trust me!!!
See pretty layout as an example:-
{credits go to: Tracy Ann Robinson for her Street Wear collection - main one being Chill but have also used 'stuff' from echo and misty. I have also used one of Tracy's corner brushes from her swirl kit. avaliable at http://www.scrapbook-bytes.com/ Other credits: Conrina Nielsen for her arsanel kit and butterfly garden set http://www.plaindigitalwarper.com/, Katie Pertiet Magnolia Kit [dst gold membership kit], and Kate Teague for the lace www.designerdigitals.com}
now see don't you agree you just need the street wear chill kit JUST for those must have flowers - go on you know you do and a little birdie on Tracy Ann's blog told me these are 40% off right now .....
Well - I'm off to catch on some sleep - some crazy girl didn't get to bed till 4ish and had a very hard time getting to sleep even then!!! [to high as a kite - not from smokeing pot no! - just on good feelings :)] ... anyways and I then had to be up at 6:30ish to get a lift home with my Dad when he went to work....
6 comments:
*giving you a standing ovation*
thanks for having the *guts* to put into words the thoughts I have had for a while. It saddens me to see that ppl have lost the whole purpose of scrapbooking.
Enjoy the feeling of *love*...dont hit yourself to hard over the head... enjoy the experience and feelings that go with it.
Peta you have such a way of saying things the rest of us are feeling. Never change that! Your layouts rock (do I sound like a broken record). As for the heart thing - I hear ya!
Shelley :)
WOW love that layout. I am coveting Tracy's new stuff BIG TIME. Resisting....resisting....hehehe. (HEY! That other Dianne wasn't me, by the way!) I agree with c, you need to figure out why you do what you do and for whom. Another way to say it that I almost posted somewhere the other day and then didn't: You need to decide what kind of person you want to be and then go be it. Of course sometimes you just have to take a stand, but you have to let these things go because you are not going to change them one iota by worrying on them. Go and be better than that and hopefully it will catch on. That's my tack. The other Di.
very good points c - and gosh now I want to go find that post...
Some very good points to think on - thanks girls!!!
I have slappend the silly girl over the head but not to hard. She's a bit nutty at times but it's nice to have soemthing to smile about once in awhile - but no getting carried away for this little pink duckling anymore!!
PS.lol at Di and Dianne - ekk LOL you guys are mulitplying!!!
That LO is probably my new fave or yours! And damnit, now I want to spend $25 just for those flowers. Enabler!!
Hmm, I only really notice the bitching when certain subjects are brought up (like if you dare to say that the *gasp* silly way Moland is run is exactly that) but maybe it's because I only venture in to about 5% of the topics at the bigger places. I scare easy so I tend to run back to the haven that is DSDU pretty quick.
I actually think CTs are the big competition at the moment. Everyone who is anyone is on one and you're therefore a horrible scrapper if you're not. And I'm just mega cool because up to a couple weeks ago, I was on four, so :-p
BTW, I tend to not go on comments, even though my LOs are getting quite a few lately. Views are a good indicator and I'm getting plenty of views, so I feel happy for my bosses!
hun, I've really backed myself off from the galleries and forums, cos it was getting to me - the need to be affirmed, the self-doubt (why did that layout only get one comment?), and the time I was spending! I still cruise around my girls' blogs (here I am, after all!), but I'm trying to get back to enjoying this hobby, and scrapping for me!
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