I miss ....

My friends.

I miss Rales. I haven't heard from her since my birthday. I'll amdit to feeling rather hurt by some things when she actually visited at the start of the year and I did come to the realisation at the time that we both where moving down totally different roads. But this girl. Gosh if I ever had a best friend - she would have come pretty darn close to it.

I miss Gretchen. Gosh that girl could make me think, she could call me so well on all my BS. Loved that about her and hated it at the some time. LOL. But she always knew the right thing to say and wouldn't pussy foot around - I'll never forget her comment that I'm like a dog with a bone - just can't let go. Yeap so very true. My brother went to Townsville just the other week and the whole time I just wished that I had still been in contact with "Small bum" so I could have gone and visted...

I miss Dania. This girl gosh she was so much like me - but also so much like the person I wanted to be if that makes any sense. She was like my sister - and we use to joke that we where twin sisters - who just happened to be born a year and a bit apart - We also shared the same brain! Which most people had always suspected that I had only half a brain!! I miss the other half of my brain! :) I'll never forget flying all the way down to adeliade to go to her weddding - meeting her for the very first time. That tirp will always have a specail place in my heart. I wonder how she's doing, how her school year has been, how things are with her hubby... I wonder what life is like now for her.

I miss Grace. Grace - I don't know if you read this hun - but thank you. Out of everyone you've been the one to try to keep in contact the most. It meant the world to me when you sms'd me about Daas. {{HUG}} - You know I'll always love you Smellie ;)

I miss Netty - I keep hopeing I'll run into her in digi circles cause I know she got keen on it from the last time I talked to Rales... , I miss Danie, wonder how she's doing? If she's still working her little tail off..., I miss Kat - my god she's had a baby and I don't even know what she had! I miss Jacinta, I wonder how she's doing, how Col is now... I miss Gemma, I wonder how her and all her boys are doing! I even miss Maira, and am thankful for the fact that we got to fix things a little before we disapared from each others lifes. I miss Dee, she had such a sweet soul, although we never really got to be close, I owe her a lot. I would love to say I miss a few other people - but my feelings are mixed when it comes to them I do miss them - and while I do hope they are doing well etc - I don't really want to ever find out about them. I don't miss them to the point that I wish they where back in my life... and I know they feel the same way about me.

Now I've left off two people Shelly and Kez. Gosh how I miss these two. Because I guess I got to do the most with these two... I miss our scrap days. I miss our crazy msn chats. I miss everything about these two and I feel like I lost the most when it comes to them... While the others distance, and just general life changes played the biggest role in diffting apart - these two there was that... but these could have been over come. I let them change. I let go of the friendships and didn't try to hard to stop them going... The worst thing is I don't think I can ever get back my friendship with them... as much as I'd love to have them back. To much time, to much change... to much hurt left undelt with.

I got an email from Shell the other day. I haven't seen or heard from her since March - I use to see her nearly every week, I'd meet her for lunch at her work or in the city. But then she changed jobs and lunches wheren't possible anymore - I tried not to let myself think that, that would be the end of our friendship, I kept my fingers crossed that we would still find some way to stay in contact and see each other at least once a month.... but what now it's nearly July - I've not seen her, sent one email and two sms's that all went unanswered - so yes I gave in on that friendship to with out much of a fight.... Now I'm siting eight days later - still looking at the email and trying to work out should I reply, what should I say... and would it go unanswered if I did reply - after all Dania and Raels both emailed me on my birthday, and although I replied back to both neither replied back....

These girls - all of them - even the ones I don't want in my life ever again - once meant the world to me. They made my days better and some days I feel so lost with out them... today is such a day...