Clearing out the clutter

It's kind of heart warming. I'm going through all my files trying to clean up my hard drive and my EHD so I can be 'organised' and then back everything up again.

I've just hit my documents folder and wow. Talk about stirring up such a range of emotions. Things hidden in the corners of my computer that I had forgotten. Things that have me laughing at the screen and others that make me miss the people I once knew. Others really burn into my brain just how much my life has changed.

I actually found copies of some old posts I once made - some happy posts - some unhappy posts ... but posts that must have meant something to me enough for me to save them I read through them and read the replies that it had saved. It was interesting to revisit myself back then. I can see so many marks of my old depression that it's not funny! It was also interesting to read supportive and 'loving' comments from people who wouldn't spit on me now if I was on fire. Funny how friends can change so extremely.

I also read the comments from friends who will always be dear to my heart. Made me realise just how much I took their friendship and support for granted at the time. I was extremely lucky to have those girls in my life and I wish I had of taken the time to tell them that more often - but that's life for you I guess huh?!

Another of my interesting finds was for a "StarMist" Candle Catalogue list. WOW. Now that was a blast from the past I don't think I've thought of Lisa in a very long time ...Hey SMELLIE GRACE if you reading this - Do you remember Lisa Stack from lala land {aka ido - the pink days haha}. Which of course just set me off into a tail spin of remembering all the people I have known from that damn forum. So many people that may have slipped from my everyday memory but will suddenly jump back into my memory with the merest reminder. I wonder what ever happened to Lisa, if she's still in tassie working away and making the candles... I actually still have the two candles Lisa sent me hanging around my room - one is siting right now on my tv and I think the others fallen off behind it - hehe. And right now my minds gone to Kate Foran - gosh that girl was just an incrediable person - and left from my life so quickly too - right around the time I broke up with Stacy - and she broke up with John .... I remeber talking to her on the phone at my brothers - that she rang around looking for me. That girl was someone very specail and I hope she knows that.

I also opened up another file - a saved email from a girl who I shared a very private friendship with - so private that I have never spoken about her to anyone before. She wasn't a 'public' member of the ido site. But one day she had a huge issue with her hubby and happened to post on the forum about it. I commented to the post and offered my inbox - she took me up on the offer. For some time we emailed back and forth, shared stories and really got into a lot of things together. We built a friendship what wasn't consistent but that would come up again and again - years later! ... I don't know where she is now - if she's still with her hubby - still visiting I-do ... There was one line in the email from Debbie that got me thinking... ". But thank you again for saying just the right thing, and making me think honestly about things. It really helps alot. Thank you."

How much these people I once knew have impacted my life - in positive and negative ways. How much their friendships how ever brief have meant to me. It's amazing to think about really these memories of people I'll never even meet in real life, people I will remember and think of fondly - [or not as the case with some might be rofl] ...

And the thing is at the time back then - they would never have know what they did or said would mean something to me two - three - four years later. That I would even remember them. But I do. It juts makes me really aware that nothing we ever do is insignificant a simple action - a kind work - a mean word - an offer to help from a complete stranger. Can still echo years and years later.

Isn't life wonderful?!

For years I have always found reason to be depressed in the fact that I have never had that one friend from childhood - that the friends in my life are never really long term friends kind of thing [stacy is the only person in my life now to have known me from when I was in my teens - well other then family and family friends! - Although actually Miss Grace you come very close to this!!]

But now when I look back over it. I think I'm very lucky - I've not just had one small group of friends for ever - I have had a large number of friends in my life, many different wonderful people who I have gotten to know and share life stories with. Just thinking about the amount of people who have touched my life in good and bad ways is quite amazing... it's also amazing to think that I have been apart of so many peoples life's as well - weather they remember me or not!

Yes - Peta's waffling. I've very nostalgic today. Do you know - if this was a year ago. It would be the day that Stacy and I got back together!!! Our One year anniversary is tomorrow!!! We aren't doing anything - but I don't really care. Just getting to this day is enough. I can't believe it's been a year. *gush gush gush* I do love that boy so and always have!

:)