do I don't I do I don't I

ARGH!!

It's so funny to think this month just how 'good' everything is going. It scares me actually, I guess I'm waiting for that shoe to fall off and go hello back to that dark little hole with you....

Things are far from 'perfect' ... and I'm trying to not get ahead of myself and to 'happy' that I'm not ready when that shoe does fall off... I am trying to keep myself 'grounded'

It's hard work LOL - but then I'm also trying not to be to 'expecting the worst' and just go with the flow.

Okay so this isn't making much sense. But then when has my life ever made sense? HAHA

So. I'm hesitant to put this 'out there' but I really want to share so here goes...

I have a boyfriend!!! :)

He's really sweet, so very nice, he's been very open with me and extremely honest - which is something I'm really appreciative of. He makes me laugh and the best of all is that I can just be myself around him. He is so easy to talk to and just be around. He's very cute :) has eyes that I could just look into all day long. When he hugs me I feel content and maybe the biggest plus is that he thinks I'm beautiful, wants to spend time with me, cares about me and actually enjoys my company....

What more could a girl ask for???

It's a wonderful feeling and no matter where this goes - right now I'm happy and enjoying having him in my life. Next week it could all be over - who knows I certainly don't have a crystal ball but in the mean time ... Damit I'm going to enjoy this!!!

So who is the lucky fella? - Well none other then the guy who broke my heart three years ago...

It's an odd situation to be in, in someways - but the nicest in others.... we are both two new people - and sure we have history to build on - we already know a good deal about each other but there are still changes, new experiences in those three years that we don't know about anymore. We have both grown up a lot since the first time we where together...

*sigh* It's cute, it's freaky, it's fun, it's strange... it's going to be difficult in some ways too.... maybe he'll break my heart again - maybe I'll break his! - But right now today - tomorrow - we're just seeing how we feel. :)

So yes - I'm dating my ex!! ROFL

Now... hmm the interesting task over the weekend of letting my family know that I'm not only 'talking' to him - but 'seeing' him as well..... [I don't keep secrets from my family and if I was dating anyone they would be told about it... so only fair I tell them this!]

and now I have to do something terrible cute and sickening ..... if you read this Stacy..... HEY BABY MISS YOU!!! :) - yeap the boy knows about my blog - he's actually commented anon a few times - not sure if he's reading still but hehe - just had to get that out.... *smiles sweetly*

ROFLMAO!!