Good Bye Monday

*sigh*

thank god it's Tuesday already.

To say today was a bad day is beyond an understatement. But the thing is, there was nothing "bad" about today, quite the opposit in fact. I got a nice compliment on a forum, another one on someone's blog, I got through to round 3 in the ulti challenge, got to spend the weekend with my parents, got to see my girls...

All I wanted to do today was cry. I had to 'drag' myself out today - if I had of been able to do what I needed to tomorrow I would have left it but I had to go out today other wise I'd have no money tomorrow - damit it. I got to the bus stop to only then realise I had forgotten the uni papers I wanted to read on the way and had also forgotten to change the t-shirt I was wearing underneath my jumper - I meant to put on a going out shirt not the one with last nights dinner stains!! [ARGH!!] Then sititing at the bus stop I saw a guy crossing the street that had for a moment an uncanny resemblance to an ex and that was enough to throw me back into past crap - why is it that when you are the most vunerable to old crap it comes out and bites you on the ass.... so needless to say all I wanted to do for the rest of the day was fall into the bottom of a big bag of maltesers - and you know the only thing you'll find at the bottom of one of those is a stomach ache [yeap learnt that lesson - well relearnt that lesson again today....]

I want to crawl into bed and never wake up.
I want to quit uni and disapare.
I want to turn off my computer and never turn it back on again.

ARGH!! I'm so done with this feeling. So done with trying to work things out and so done with pretending.

I want a smoke [haven't had one in a week!!]
I want my uni assignment to be finished.
I feel like downing a big long stiff drink of Vodka... or is that drowning...

BLURGH!

Maybe it's time to go get some magic pills to sort out this thing I call a brain - although I fear 'tampering' with my brain chemicals cause after all the problems might be 'other' then my head - and I just refuse to deal with them.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll wake up feel much better and get my uni assignment done....

wish me luck.