a little about me

take a good look a me, what do you see? Do you see someone happy someone funny and full of life, someone who has done wonderful things in her life. it's hard to put into words what I see when I look at me. I see what I want to be, all that I could be and everything I'm not. I see the lines and the marks I see the worry and the loss. I see the truth and the lie. Who I am isn't me at all. I'm a shadow of me, and I have been for a very long time. I am two different people sharing the one body. I am a mess. I am hopeless and hopeful all at the same time. I don't learn. I don't stop. I don't change. I never forget or forgive. I hate myself and love who I am all at the same time. I dream of being different but yet always stay the same. I have achieved so much, yet I have achieved nothing. I loved and not really lived. I have seen but never really looked. I have listened but never really heard. I haven't tried, I've only pretended. I've stood alone. I've fallen and gotten back up. I've taken on the world and lived. I've hidden behind my fears and let things go by. I've given up. I've held on for all that I'm worth. I've battled and lost, I've battled and won. I've counted my blessings and been thank ful for all that I have been given. I've taken advantage and been taken advantage of. I've loved and lost. I have been better off. I've laughed until I've cried. I've cried until I laughed. I've lied I've made people happy. I've changed lives. I've shared secrets. I've sung like there was no tomorrow. I've done things others never would. I've taken chances and lived to tell the tails. I've had fun. I've been sad. life has been good, life has been bad. It's had its moments that have tested and some of them I have failed. But tomorrow is another day and I'll try my best to get it right then. To do the things that have to be done