People suck

:(

Why is it suddenly I feel used?

My housemate [who I will name BEE for this entry], who I get along with fairly okay with... is a "model" she does a lot of photoshoot's kind of thing where she gets the photos that the photographer has taken as payment. Some of those photos aren't all that great, the colours are off, they are to dark etc etc...

BEE also does shoots with a friend of her's - they both pose together [nothing to full on IYKWIM] - just 'suggestive'.

So anyways a lot of these photos need some photoshop work [her friend has had a baby and has some very dark stretch marks that they would love taken out].

So me being the wonderful nice generous person that I am, offered to edit some of the photos for them.

I finally got the disk of the photos that they would like 'fixed' . As well as the stretch marks, making the photos lighter and generally look better I was also asked to fix tan marks and take out the freckles on BEE's nose.

There is 146 photos in total!!

Today, as I didn't feel much like cleaning my room and because my net has been playing up, I got stuck into playing with the photos - some I just gave up on as impossible to fix the colours as they are so poorly shot.

Bee had her friend over at one stage today, and I called Bee in to have a look at the photos, so they both came in to have a look. When I said that one photographers photos where impossible to fix I got asked "WHY?!" - [was more like a demand then a question - and this was from Bee's friend!] I explained how the photos where shoot so bad that the colours would just over blow no matter what you did to fix it - and I showed her the ones I could 'sorta' get to come out okay - but they where even still bad to which she agreed.

I showed them one photo I was quite happy with [and worked quite hard on] only to have the friend go "Oh I hate that photo" and Bee agreed... they then proceeded to have a private discussion as if I wasn't even in the room! At this point I was thinking if they didn't like the photo in the first place why put it on the disk to give to me - why waste MY time fixing a photo they don't like - GRR.

Next I showed the "play" ones I did - I cropped a few and turned one B&W - They both loved this one.

When we had gone through them all they seemed 'impressed' even mentioned that what I had done was better then some 'processional' photographers that had 'photoshopped' photos from their shoots....

So all good right?!

They left, I kept working on them. I decided just from the general 'tone' of everything that I wasn't going to 'bust my butt' working on these anymore, that I would get them 'presentable' but stop being a perfectionist over them.

Worked worked worked.

Moments ago I went outside to find Bee, her friend, and one of my housemates [the new guy] all getting organised to go out. They where trying to sort out a car to go in etc. I don't know where they where going - out of dinner is the only thing I know of. Bee was saying she'd have to be home early etc etc....

I know I can't 'know' how everything came about - how the plans where made to go out etc. But I just stood there in the kitchen as they talked around me and felt invisible and 'excluded' .... I mean fair enough if Bee and her friend where just going out... but my other housemate was going out too - and it looked/sounded like a 'social' going out on the spare of the moment 'lets go have dinner' thing......

It made me feel even more like I didn't belong and couldn't be apart of their 'world' as they are all beautiful/skinny/fit kind of thing......

But I just stood there thinking - here I am doing them a favour by doing their photos for them and I don't even rate an invite out?!

So it I'm not doing anymore photos they can have what I've done and that's it.

I AM NOT GOING TO BE USED!

That's how I feel right now.