Good Bye 2006
Well tomorrow is the last day of 2006 then it will be 2007, I wonder that 2007 has install for me. I don't know how I feel looking back over 2006, it was certainly a better year then 2005 that's for sure! Lots of great things did happen this year, Stacy of course is one of them hehe, Jenna another, doing my graphic design at tafe another.
I tend to classify years into three categories, one, the bad year that you just want to forget, where it seemed that nothing went right. I've had three of those off the top of my head, 1990, 2003 and 2005. Not a bad run really, then you have the 'what did I do in that year?" year - where nothing remarkable really happened you just plodded along with life. and lastly the wow year, where so much went on that you can't believe you fitted that all into one year. I don't know where I put 2006, I think it's half and half of the last two really it wasn't anything stand out wowish but at the same token it did have those moments where it was like so much going on that I couldn't keep up.
I must say I'm very thankful for the whole Stacy part of this year, it's certainly changed a few things and is nicer to have someone to share my stories with, another person to count on, even if that does scare me a little. I know in some ways I'm waiting for that fairy tail to end. I'm a lucky girl. I have to say I remember really why he was so hard to get over, he is just an amazing guy and I know that there is no one else in the world like him, with such a big heart. I know we still have so many things to work out, and I really want to try on my end of things. To be a better me for him - if that makes any sense?!
I must admit I was kind of sad that I wouldn't be spending any time with Stacy this new years, I had hopped that we would do something together but I never really made any plans or anything [because I really didn't have any to go IYKWIM] So I was sad when I found out that he was going to spend new years with a very close friend of his. But I realised at the same time I couldn't be selfish, I couldn't 'hog' him, that he has had these friends in his life longer then me and I can't expect to be put above them. It was while talking about this with him, me telling him I was sad about it, him telling me that he just saw the whole day as just another day of the year kind of thing etc. Then we got onto me whole 'hang-ups' thing, about the fact that I had nothing to do on new years eve, no parties to go to, no friends to be with, no invitations anywhere [Not even from my own family - who are going to family friends place - I know I'll be asked/dragged along come tomorrow - but quite frankly I don't want to be the last minute consideration, the dragged along family member because she doesn't have anything else to do, makes me feel pathetic.
But Stacy was right when he pointed out that it was and is all my own doing - I don't put myself out there, I don't go out of my way to try and 'increase' my social circle... I shut down on things way to easily.
Some part of it all is me of a lifetime, I've never found making friends easy.... and some part of it is a lot of baggage I'm carrying from the rejection I felt, from Stacy the first time around when he left me, and the way things ended last year and this with people who I once would have moved heaven and earth for... It's hard to get over that pain sometimes.
So my goal for 2007, to let go of all my hang ups, free myself to just be me.
Gosh I think thats the hardest goal I have ever set - even harder the stopping smoking!
So thanks for reading through all that... seeing as you are so good - here is some new photos for you all...
Photos to be scrapped in 2007 [lol]
I tend to classify years into three categories, one, the bad year that you just want to forget, where it seemed that nothing went right. I've had three of those off the top of my head, 1990, 2003 and 2005. Not a bad run really, then you have the 'what did I do in that year?" year - where nothing remarkable really happened you just plodded along with life. and lastly the wow year, where so much went on that you can't believe you fitted that all into one year. I don't know where I put 2006, I think it's half and half of the last two really it wasn't anything stand out wowish but at the same token it did have those moments where it was like so much going on that I couldn't keep up.
I must say I'm very thankful for the whole Stacy part of this year, it's certainly changed a few things and is nicer to have someone to share my stories with, another person to count on, even if that does scare me a little. I know in some ways I'm waiting for that fairy tail to end. I'm a lucky girl. I have to say I remember really why he was so hard to get over, he is just an amazing guy and I know that there is no one else in the world like him, with such a big heart. I know we still have so many things to work out, and I really want to try on my end of things. To be a better me for him - if that makes any sense?!
I must admit I was kind of sad that I wouldn't be spending any time with Stacy this new years, I had hopped that we would do something together but I never really made any plans or anything [because I really didn't have any to go IYKWIM] So I was sad when I found out that he was going to spend new years with a very close friend of his. But I realised at the same time I couldn't be selfish, I couldn't 'hog' him, that he has had these friends in his life longer then me and I can't expect to be put above them. It was while talking about this with him, me telling him I was sad about it, him telling me that he just saw the whole day as just another day of the year kind of thing etc. Then we got onto me whole 'hang-ups' thing, about the fact that I had nothing to do on new years eve, no parties to go to, no friends to be with, no invitations anywhere [Not even from my own family - who are going to family friends place - I know I'll be asked/dragged along come tomorrow - but quite frankly I don't want to be the last minute consideration, the dragged along family member because she doesn't have anything else to do, makes me feel pathetic.
But Stacy was right when he pointed out that it was and is all my own doing - I don't put myself out there, I don't go out of my way to try and 'increase' my social circle... I shut down on things way to easily.
Some part of it all is me of a lifetime, I've never found making friends easy.... and some part of it is a lot of baggage I'm carrying from the rejection I felt, from Stacy the first time around when he left me, and the way things ended last year and this with people who I once would have moved heaven and earth for... It's hard to get over that pain sometimes.
So my goal for 2007, to let go of all my hang ups, free myself to just be me.
Gosh I think thats the hardest goal I have ever set - even harder the stopping smoking!
So thanks for reading through all that... seeing as you are so good - here is some new photos for you all...
Photos to be scrapped in 2007 [lol]
Michelle's Colour Extreem Action
Michelle's Acid Wash plus Colour Pop actions
Michelle's Colour Extreem Action
2 comments:
Stunning photos Peta! And thanks for sharing your new year resolutions with us. You know, it got me thinking about my new year.. i'm in the same boat.. don't want to be one of those *last minute* considerations.. but then realised, hey - I didn't put myself out there... thanks for letting us share your journey through 2006 - I hope 2007 is one of those great years for you!
Shelley :)
xx
Keep charging on Peta! I know you can do it!
Happy New Year 2007!
*Gemma*
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