To Fragile
I've decided I'm just to fragile for this whole 'publishing' chapper, I'm just so over it!!!

Yes it's great to see my layouts in print - I loved getting the title gallery page with my paper "All my friends are getting married" layout and it is exciting to see my very first digital layout in print in Scrapbooking Memories {Once Upon a time}. I've still got two more to come out - A layout of my darling little neice Kira called "Playground Princess" in My Reflections and a layout in Scrapbooking Creations called "Boost: My Daily Essential" and really - that's all an amazing achievement in itself. But with the recent run of rejections I've started to really look at what I do and think about what I want out of all this - and what I'm getting.

I think it's time to face the fact - I'm never going to be the Erica Glover of the digi word {heehee love ya E!!}.

No I'm not giving up on the whole digital scrapping stuff - just the publishing stuff. As I am as I said to fragile for it - todays rejection was like a switch going off inside my head.
Recently I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to get a layout into Scrapbooking Memories Digital Layouts gallery - but not ONE of my layouts {I sent them all in HAHA} was accepted. I know that it all just boils down to my work wasn't what SM was looking for. And while yes that is perfectly reasonable and fair enough - can't help it if I wasn't produceing what they where after... but that is the crux of it really - I am not produceing what SM is after - so why do I invest so much time/energy/heart into something that all it ends up doing is makeing me question myself??

I don't need that. Today I guess I'm just not the most emotionaly strong person to handle having my Masters entry rejected - for the second time - wasn't good enough for the compertion wasn't good enough to be even published at all... {according to SM and what they are looking for}. Today I just felt so disheartned that I even started thinking of pulling out of the whole digital thing - walking away from my design teams - I didn't want to look at another layout - another kit or even open Adobe ever again....

That is just so STUPID - to let a magaizine reject get me so torn down like that - show's yes - not emotionaly stable right now - and that I'm investing way to much into all this.

I mean the one thing that keeps my head on {doing a nearly headless nick impression - while it's mostly unattached there is one thing that keeps my digital head on} is the fact that I know - as 'big' headed as this will sound - that I have inspired quite a few people to try digital scrapping out.. and that there are people out there that like to look at what I do.

It's all a mind game that I can't play anymore - time for a break!!